haha i am taking that no one ever reads my blog anymore, so in a way i am really typing this for myself. Telling myself what i have been through last 2 weeks.
Well i was called back to do my reservist for 18 days. Our unit was being evaluated by the army for 4 days and 4 nights while we did ongoing missions. I took on the role as a section commander with 6 men under me but this time round only 3 reported back. They were Jacky, Chee seng and Chai. It was hard getting to know them at first because they are like way older than me. They were like all 10-13 years older than me but nevertheless i did get to know them and they are good men. I learn about the jobs they have outside and i really enjoyed being around them. As the days go by i got to know most of the people in the platoon and they are all good men. I joked around with them they joked around with me, it was all good fun. They all communicate in hokkien and chinese. I got closer to the platoon during the 4 days and 4 nights because of the things that we have to endure together outfield. I tell you this is the most siong outfield i have ever been to my entire life in the army haha. Well we went through it anywayz... first day we left camp at night and we took the vehicle to a jungle and we started to dig, each person has to dig one hole for himself. And the place where i was digging was like all stones. Everyone else finished digging within 2 hours. But me and Jacky was still digging, we dug for like 4 hours, in the end we stopped and we went to sleep. Next morning was a bit relaxed because all we have to do is stay in the hole and defend. We cooked noodles and stuff drinked milo it was like a picnic LOL. then it rained for like the whole afternoon, everyone was super sian. Then came night where we set off for our first mission, we started walking at 10pm and stopped walking at 6am. By the time we finished the mission it was like 12pm. After the success of our first mission we did a defence again from about 1pm to like 8pm. Then after that we changed into new clothes had dinner and slept from like 10pm to 2am. At 2am we got ready for our 2nd mission and this was the toughest..... it was a 10km walk to the objective, we started off walking at 2am and reached our objective at 830am we waited and slept till 10am when we started attacking. By that time my body was like super weak i never fell so tired before in my life... every step i took was like killing me. I started to think about Jesus, how He took the cross and walked to calvary it was definitely worst than my march. I compared my experience with His. I had blisters with shoes on and it hurts like crazy. I am sure He has blisters too but without any shoes on so it will definitely hurt even more because He was walking on sand and stone. The things i had to carry was heavy and it hurts my back. He had to carry the cross and it was definitely heavier than what i had to carry. The more i compared the more i had the energy to keep on walking. Thank you Jesus for everything you have done for me. By the end of the mission i was super tired everything i did within 2 to 3 minutes i will doze off. haha. super tiring, thirsty and hungry. By the end of these 4 days 4 nights i got to know the men more and i really enjoyed going through this with them. If there happen to be a war i am willing to fight it together with beside them.
When i begin to mix around with these men i begin to realise somethings. I realise that the things that they say, they say it with conviction and they say it because they have experience it before and they know what is going on. They are firm with the decisions that they make and do not think twice about whether its wrong or right, because they know its right.
They are bold and daring, when they give instructions they are clear and firm. When instructions are given you do what it says and not an easier way out. And as a commander you ensure the standards and dont be so "anything also can"
arh there are so many things for you to learn Ben. Till the day when you can really take care of yourself don even think about having someone in your life.
I think God is really shaping me up through these experience. He put me around people who are 28 to 35 years old to show me how real men behave themselves. To show me how they carry themselves.
When i look at myself and look at the way i act and the way i do things i realise i am really quite far from being a real man. I am not saying that i have low self esteem... i am just saying i am aware of all these things. Some of the things that i do really pull down my reputation and some of the things that i say are not clear and not firm. sometimes i am not bold nor daring. sometimes i am afraid of giving instructions, afraid that people wont listen.
But its getting better now. I am changing slowly.
Nevertheless i thank God for these experiences, they make me stronger.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Something that hit me right in the face
Just wanted to share these with you guys. Hopefully it will help some of you reading it.
Some people may be decieved that they are not good enough. But how many of you know that it is not true.
When oppotunities arises in your life, you begin to say to yourself that you are not ready or you are not good enough for it, that you need some time to improved yourself.
But things happen for a reason, opportunties come to you for a reason. Not by chance but God-given. When God gives you an opportunity He knows you are able to do it but of course not on your own. When God gives you an opportunity He expects you to take it and work with Him.
If you reject the opportunity and give a reason that because you are not good enough or its not your time, then let me ask you a question, when then are you good enough and how do you know its your time?
When God gives you an opportunity you don improve yourself first then take the opportunity but you take the opportunity by faith based on the reason that God is a good God and He will surely be by your side all the way to help you, then while doing that you improve yourself. Of course i am not saying that you go in there blindly and not prepare yourself, you need to at least know what is going on, you do your best and you leave the rest to God.
When God asked Moses to speak to the people, Moses said to God that he wasnt good at speaking. He didnt even have time to improve himself but he did it by faith and God spoke through him.
We need to grab hold of these opportunities. Believe that God will be there with us.
There is a point in life where you tell yourself that you are an adult and you begin to think maturely. You want to change because you need to. It is now or procrastinate.
Some people may be decieved that they are not good enough. But how many of you know that it is not true.
When oppotunities arises in your life, you begin to say to yourself that you are not ready or you are not good enough for it, that you need some time to improved yourself.
But things happen for a reason, opportunties come to you for a reason. Not by chance but God-given. When God gives you an opportunity He knows you are able to do it but of course not on your own. When God gives you an opportunity He expects you to take it and work with Him.
If you reject the opportunity and give a reason that because you are not good enough or its not your time, then let me ask you a question, when then are you good enough and how do you know its your time?
When God gives you an opportunity you don improve yourself first then take the opportunity but you take the opportunity by faith based on the reason that God is a good God and He will surely be by your side all the way to help you, then while doing that you improve yourself. Of course i am not saying that you go in there blindly and not prepare yourself, you need to at least know what is going on, you do your best and you leave the rest to God.
When God asked Moses to speak to the people, Moses said to God that he wasnt good at speaking. He didnt even have time to improve himself but he did it by faith and God spoke through him.
We need to grab hold of these opportunities. Believe that God will be there with us.
There is a point in life where you tell yourself that you are an adult and you begin to think maturely. You want to change because you need to. It is now or procrastinate.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Taiwan
Taiwan was really fun... it has been quite some time since i have been overseas so i was really excited for the trip. Bought super alot of stuffs, ate moderately (maybe) and drank everyday one milk tea. it was a great experience and i want to thank my family who provided for me to make this trip happen. and also i want to thank the people that went together, Zhihong Sam and Darice. They are all really fun people to be with :) me and Zhi hong never laughed so much before in our lives, i still remember the photo 123 we look at each other and froze for a moment and HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA. so funny la and you deleted my jump shot....
hahaha and remember we play the bubble (made up of glue) it was so messy la... then we started attacking each other LOL. and not to forget my proness in shooting those balloons...
Yup thats what i can remember for the whole trip. lol... thats all we did in that 7 days.
Thank you all you all have been great fun. :)
hahaha and remember we play the bubble (made up of glue) it was so messy la... then we started attacking each other LOL. and not to forget my proness in shooting those balloons...
Yup thats what i can remember for the whole trip. lol... thats all we did in that 7 days.
Thank you all you all have been great fun. :)
Friday, July 10, 2009
Revelation
Went to the office and caught something really interesting.
How do you work and work and work and keep on keeping on in your ministry and not burn out? Where do you get the passion to do that? Well the answer is to keep getting fresh new revelations from God. Passion is fuelled by new revelations. Have you ever had the feeling of recieving a revelation, you always get so excited to want to share with others. As a cell group leader its crucial to get new revelations all the time, so you are able to feed the members under you. Pst Tan say when you get fresh mana from heaven you recieve it first then pass it down to the people behind you. I was in taiwan and we visited New Life Church and Pst Tan preached his E1R1 message in chinese that week. I was really happy because i was able to understand quite clearly, thank God haha. He was sharing about the illustration about him being a scout and he has to go ahead of the battalion to find a path, and that it was easier to take a path that people have walked before because it is easier. As a scout when you begin to plant those light sticks beside the path, it can symbolise crucial turning points in your life. When you begin to go back to your battalion to lead them to this path it will be much easier because you have gone through this path before. In life its pretty much the same, all the things that have happen in your life good or bad they all add to your experience in life, the more you encounter the more experience you are. It happens for a good reason, it makes you stronger plus you are able to lead people out of it easily because you have gone through it before.
Revelation from God keeps you in line with what God wants to share to you and the people around you. Lets be more excited in recieving new revelations from God.
How do you work and work and work and keep on keeping on in your ministry and not burn out? Where do you get the passion to do that? Well the answer is to keep getting fresh new revelations from God. Passion is fuelled by new revelations. Have you ever had the feeling of recieving a revelation, you always get so excited to want to share with others. As a cell group leader its crucial to get new revelations all the time, so you are able to feed the members under you. Pst Tan say when you get fresh mana from heaven you recieve it first then pass it down to the people behind you. I was in taiwan and we visited New Life Church and Pst Tan preached his E1R1 message in chinese that week. I was really happy because i was able to understand quite clearly, thank God haha. He was sharing about the illustration about him being a scout and he has to go ahead of the battalion to find a path, and that it was easier to take a path that people have walked before because it is easier. As a scout when you begin to plant those light sticks beside the path, it can symbolise crucial turning points in your life. When you begin to go back to your battalion to lead them to this path it will be much easier because you have gone through this path before. In life its pretty much the same, all the things that have happen in your life good or bad they all add to your experience in life, the more you encounter the more experience you are. It happens for a good reason, it makes you stronger plus you are able to lead people out of it easily because you have gone through it before.
Revelation from God keeps you in line with what God wants to share to you and the people around you. Lets be more excited in recieving new revelations from God.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Tenth Avenue North - By your side
This song is really encouraging, the lyrics really changes the perspective of how you look at God. Many a times we are always so busy with our daily stuff and we forget that God is always by our side, holding onto us whenever we fall. Sometimes we try so hard to earn God's love and grace, whenever we do something wrong we will have this mindset that God is angry with us but actually... He is not. All He wants us to do is to run back to Him. Don't turn away from Him. Wait upon Him.
Psalms 25
This song is really encouraging, the lyrics really changes the perspective of how you look at God. Many a times we are always so busy with our daily stuff and we forget that God is always by our side, holding onto us whenever we fall. Sometimes we try so hard to earn God's love and grace, whenever we do something wrong we will have this mindset that God is angry with us but actually... He is not. All He wants us to do is to run back to Him. Don't turn away from Him. Wait upon Him.
Psalms 25
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Long time
Havent been blogging much lately. Quite sian of blogging actually haha. Dont even know what to blog.
Right now i talking to Lai yoong over skype. Was saying how his holidays like no holidays... he still has to stay in hostel to do his chem presentation and stuff... still got dragon boat competition.
This period i am kind of into singing, want to learn alot of new songs. But the lyrics hard to learn because they are in chinese. I have been learning this song called fen bu gu sheng by xiao jin teng. Quite a nice song but hard to sing haha.
Hmmm... what is the next step after this. I know it but yet its hard to do. Sometimes when you know what to do even if you are not sure just try it out you never know what will happen. Do it and leave the rest to God.
Right now i talking to Lai yoong over skype. Was saying how his holidays like no holidays... he still has to stay in hostel to do his chem presentation and stuff... still got dragon boat competition.
This period i am kind of into singing, want to learn alot of new songs. But the lyrics hard to learn because they are in chinese. I have been learning this song called fen bu gu sheng by xiao jin teng. Quite a nice song but hard to sing haha.
Hmmm... what is the next step after this. I know it but yet its hard to do. Sometimes when you know what to do even if you are not sure just try it out you never know what will happen. Do it and leave the rest to God.
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